No Silent Solitude is This
She sits next to him. Her eyes alight, the luminosity of life pours out of her and he just wishes sometimes to be within the tide of it. Her long legs stretch out on the lounge chair as she raises her face to the starlit night over the city of Atlantis.
She asked him to smile but he couldn't. Weights tie him, bend him to a loathing deep inside, a guilt that festers. But she is here, beside him, with him. He wonders if she knows how much he's come to depend on her these last few weeks. How he thought about her those days after they first met. How he mourned in silent solitude when she disappeared to the Ori galaxy. He wonders at the paradox of peace she brings to his soul.
And as if to read his very thoughts, Vala says, "What?"
He shakes his head.
She considers him only a moment but in that moment flashes of his soul bared shimmer through her eyes. She knows yet understands his reticence somehow. And in her own unique style, Vala says, "Really Daniel I thought there'd be exotic drinks. At least little cute umbrella thingies like I've seen on that box you call the television."
He turns to her, his chair placed slightly ajar from hers. He only gives her a half frown but in that there is so much more that he longs to say, that is muted in his lack of words. Just a ruffle of wind hits him.
She drops her head; there is a vow between them unspoken but true. There is a cohesion between them and he doesn't move his hand away when she touches him. When she says his name it is just a motion of air, shifting through and caressing him. He hears her and she is suddenly before him, kneeling and looking up to him.
"Daniel," she repeats and those eyes are wide and open, seeking his center, his soul.
"Did you love him?" The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, before he realizes he is even thinking of it.
"Love? Who? What?"
Shaking his head again, he lifts up his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. The day has shadowed him and his mind keeps taking tangents to evade the pending dangers. "Nothing."
She stands, hands on hips and strolls out to the veranda's rail. As she turns and leans back against the rail, he glimpses Vala in her prime. Perfect, sassy, ready to strike. But then as the wind shifts through her hair, brushes it over her face, she stops herself and says in a deep voice he wishes is only for him. "Tomin is a good man. A bit brainwashed at the moment but still a good man. He helped me when I was alone. I do love him."
He nods. It was as much as he expected to hear and as much as he feared. The heaviness overwhelms him and his soul plummets a degree, dragging him down. It is hard to swallow. Why is he wasting his time on these thoughts, why is this pressing his chest to the point it is hard to breathe? He rises and decides he should concentrate on working through anything in Atlantis that might help the struggle against the Ori. Surely the Ancient database here might lend clues to battling this foe.
He points behind him; then drops his hands. His body, his arms, his hands feel unfamiliar and awkward like he is a teenager again. "Yeah well, I'm going to go work. You can, you should probably sleep. Yeah, sleep. That would be good."
She gives him a smile that turns into a grin as she closes the space between them with one long stride. Taking his collar in her hands, she tugs on his jacket. "I said I do love him but I'm not in love with him Daniel." She tilts her head, leans in and her lips are hovering over his own. He can feel the gravity of her body pulling him, the force tightening his muscles. She taunts him for a few seconds more, then drops back. "He never appreciated loot quite the way you do."
It takes him a moment to catch his breath before he can speak. His words come out like a rasp. "Loot."
"Hmm," she says and smiles as she turns back to the rolling ocean in the darkened night.
He doesn't move, he wants to, he aches to join her. Without facing him, Vala offers him her hand. It is a subtle gesture — one neither would be too embarrassed about later if he did not accept it.
But he does.
She lifts his hand and wraps her arm through his. Her body sways into his and they stare out at the city, the waters, the sky. There is a solitude here, a silence that envelopes them as they settle against one another.
"You'll find a way," she says. The flippant Vala is gone; the serious one who he rarely sees holds him.
"Maybe."
"You have before."
"Or died trying," he states and gives a little laugh.
Her hand squeezes his elbow and he glances down at her. Worry etches her features, pains her beauty. "Promise me you won't Daniel."
He bows his head and avoids her stare. "I can't."
"Daniel."
He looks at her and sees a thousand thoughts but most of all he sees her. Vala. He whispers to her, "I have to try Vala, even if it means death or something worse."
She shifts away from him and he is more the pauper for the loss of her. Her head is bowed and then she lifts it to face him. There is mystery there within her eyes, but glimmering on the edge flickers mischief. She goads him until she gets her way. The ire burns up in him from deep in his belly.
"So then I suppose you leave me no other choice."
He doesn't want to play the game right now. He doesn't have the patience or the head for it. His mind spins around the realization that the Ancients have abandon them, that they will hold firm in their belief system of non-interference with lower beings.
Vala strolls over to him. "Remember, Daniel, you left me no other choice." Her voice is warm and husky, it remind him of the thirty year old Scotch he and Jack drank on the last night Jack was in town.
All thoughts escape him when she brushes her lips against his. It is soft and tender, teasing and torturing. Her scent swims in his head, her gravity captures him. He thinks to move away, to draw away from her, but suddenly his hands cup her face and a hungry need takes over him. He needs to feel her, he needs to taste her. But most of all he needs to do what he has longed for all these veiled days, he needs to love her, to tell her he loves her, to be loved by her.
She answers his unspoken prayer; she is greedy in her attitude and devours his mouth. They spar and taunt one another until she pulls away, breathless. Finally, the luminosity held within her eyes is only for him. Her low throated words throb with his chest. "Smile for me Daniel."
And he does. For her. Only for her.
The End
